"and he went out, not knowing where he was going."

 Christmas has once again come and gone. New Years is fast approaching and I have decided to take a few moments, to reflect upon the past year. It was busy one. Things just seemed to happen abruptly and continuously. No sooner had one thing finished that another thing was upon us. Amongst this craziness, a few events have had huge impacts on my life.
    The first one being I graduated, or rather convocated as I like to refure to it. finally four years, thousands of dollars later and I can now proudly say, I hold a bachelor in Education. The second thing was the wedding. We pledged our lives together, for better of for worse in front of hundreds of people in Ben's hometown of Regina. Finally, the one that has made a lasting impression on not only us, both those around us. Our decision to move. It is this decision though that I find the need for serious reflection or at least poses the desire to discuss with you as it has definitely been an interesting journey.
  We moved to Saskatoon, in hopes of pursing a job for me. I had been given the impression, that I had one all I had to do was confirm. Well a few days after all arrangement s had been made to move. I recieved a letter informing me that there was no position available. I figured this was only a minor setback. As all other plans were workign for the better. Our apartment went to friends who needed a home, I had a job lined up almost as soon as I arrieved home and thus, we continued with our plans, and moved here.
   Truth be told, we've encountered many setbacks. Ben managed to get a job. Nothing permenant, nothing he really enjoys. Yes he does have a full time job and we thank God for that, and it has good pay, but its not what he feels called to do. As well, I have been unsuccessful at attain perment work. I sub irregularly, work 4 hours a week as a gym teacher at a private school, and waitress. Honestly this was not what I thought I was signing up for. I thought God had confirmed things. I figured that coming here, life would take off, that we would find our calling.
 In Decemeber, I applied for a job, and was turned down. It hit me a little harder than i had planned. I had been so frustrated with God. that it was the final blow. I continually questioned God. What was he doing? where were we headed. Ben and I, look at Saskatoon and wonder what we are doing here. We have had the opportunity to reconnect with my family. Over the past four years, I admit to not being the best big sister, as a matter of fact, I have pretty much been out of the picture. Not only has living in another city, moved me away from them, but it gave me a life, one that really did not involve them. Moving back has allowed me to connect with them, to work on our relationships. My brother was allowed to stay with us, durinvg the first semester of school, and while we spent tons of time with Ben's family during our dating and engagement period, my family saw very little of him, or heard from him even less. Now, he is able to be apart of thier lives, to get involved with them and build relationships that had we not been here, would have been very difficult for him to do.
  A few days ago, I was doing a devotional called My Utmost for his Highest the grad addition and  the passage was from Hebrews 11:8, "and he went out, not knowing where he was going." It hit home with me. the book went on to talk about how we are called to follow God in faith, and at times we dont always know where that is leading us, or what the end result is. It talked about changing the questions from 'What are you doing God?' (as he never will tell you) but rather to, 'Who are you God?' and allowing God to reveal himself to you with each situation that you encounter. They are all apart of the grand plan that God has laid out for us. By asking who God is, it draws us closer to God's character and thus creates a trust and faith. The book talks about being willing to 'go out' for God and just follow with out knowing the where, just trusting in who God is, and what he can do. Learning to let go and let God.
    I see now, that I may not know the reason that we are in Saskatoon, nor do i know that this is the final resting stop for my family. I feel like God put us here, to help develop the relationships that were lacking in the past, and to allow us to grow. I am learning about God's faithfulness and his ability to provide regardless of the circumstances. Ben and I are still learning the art of being a married couple, we know that God has something big planned, and that no matter where he takes us, whether its Austrailia, Malasia,Mexico, Carenport, Regina, or if we never leave Saskatoon, we must be willing to Go. We're working on it. I know that it wont be easy, as God loves to push people out of their comfort zone and it may require lots of work, but regardless of that, we know that where ever we are headed God will never leave us or forsake us, we just have to trust.

In lieu of volunteers...

 Something that has become ever so prevalient in todays' churchs, or even in Society is the need for volunteers, to clean up the messes, teach Sunday School, run kick off Carnivals, greet people, etc. Somehow though there never seems to be enough people to go around. How is that? I mean with the amount of people in today's churches you would think that there would be ample people to help, and yet morning after morning, church after church, you hear the cry from the pulpit for volunteers, sometimes its just a call out to people who might have time to help, sometimes a creative sermon about how God calls us to be active in his church, and yet other times its a "lecture" about how badly the church needs volunteeres.
  Ben and I have been seeing many calls for these volunteers as we've church shopped, and I'm sure they wont stop. It's been the topic of discussion around the coffee table or kitchen table as we talk with friends, and I know that those wont stop either.
 As I was reading my bible the other night I came across a passage the seemed to sum up what people have been telling me, and one that I'm sure many of you are familiar with. Its Matthew 9:36-38. Jesus is walking and preaching and healing, and feels compassion for the people he is meeting because they are like lost sheep without a shepherd (it seems even they had issues having people volunteer with leading things back in the day) and Jesus makes an interesting yet very obvious observation, he says :the harvest is plenty, but the workers are few.
  How many churches can relate? They start community outreaches, their kids, youth and other ministries sky rocket with people in attendance and yet, they have few volunteers to help out with planning and organizing and even executing these events. Sunday after Sunday, they call from the pulpit: WE NEED VOLUNTEERS TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN, and yet no one really seems moved to get up and help and its the same way the next sunday as well. Its interesting to see that we haven't changed a bit since Jesus' day. We're still too busy to help, in some ways maybe too caught up in ourselves to have a moment to spare . We're too afraid to commit in case something comes up, we place our children in every sport and activity imaginable to help them stay out of trouble, and thus we no time. Maybe we don't feel qualified, so we don't even give it a thought. We leave people sweating at the last moment, praying that enough people show up and help so that this event or activity can be done. Why? what if we were to commit to that one morning a week, to teach Sunday school, instead of sleeping in how would our life change?
 Going back to that verse, its the last part that stands out to me. Jesus, continues after  his observation by saying: "Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore to send out workers into his harvest field." this parts got me. what is Jesus saying? I mean he did not say "Preach it brother, and get more people helping." but he also didn't say" its ok, everything is going to be ok."  He said Ask God for the workers." could Jesus be speaking to something that we are unaware of. Perhaps its the continuous call from the pulpit that have people immune to hearing the cry for volunteers. Now I know that many people already involved with ministry will say, we do pray, and I'm not denying that or even saying you don't. God always comes through when you do, I've seen it and I know you have, but I guess what I'm trying to get at is that maybe we need to take a step back and look at our lives, how can they be altered to fit in a moment of volunteering, committing one night a week to something that will benefit God's kingdom in oppose to our own lives. I've learned that while volunteering you are giving a part of yourself, its never a one way street and you almost always come out of it, with some sort of experience that changes your life.

Also, if anyone has thoughts on the verse 38, I would love to hear them.

And thus life starts

Well, we're finally married and the adjustments have started to come, regardless, I am loving married life. I figured this place would be a good place to keep you all in touch with our lives. Remember we still have phones and snail mail, as well, Ben has become intrigued with the world of Skype. So if you've got it, add us. We also use it as a personal phone, because it allows us to make unlimited long distance phone calls to anywhere in North America for just $3 per month!
 These past few weeks have been crazy, after the wedding, we attended the Erickson family reunion, so our days were filled with fun and laughter. We then headed to Moose Jaw where we enjoyed a nice relaxing time just sitting in the spa and de-stressing after the crazy weeks leading up to the wedding. Aug 2, marked the start of our Honeymoon, which entailed a road trip ending in Calgary. It was such an awesome time. We enjoyed many sights I had not yet seen and really got to relax and get to know each other. Calgary brought on Ben's Uncle Kirks 40th Birthday and a trip to Swiss Chalet. We also checked out Callaway Park where I rode the rollercoaster and the log ride (a huge feat for me as I am afraid of those rides) Over all it was a wonderful experience. My husband has proven to be a real joy to travel with (perhaps I'm biased) and I look forward to all our other journeys :D
 On Monday August 9th, we recieved the text that our new nephew Nehemiah Joseph was born and thus tuesday night we headed on another road trip this one talking us to Regina. Wednesday had us helping with VBS at Rosewood. What a day! We were definitely exhausted but not too exhausted. We met up with the family at Sarah and Daniels new place and enjoyed some wonderful times with our nephew.
 Thursday had us back in Saskatoon due to work commitments ( I started my first day as a waitress). The whole weekend has been packed with work and to round things up Ben and I joined Ashly at the Ex for some demolition derby and just hanging out time.
 Finally that bring us to today. I have a day off before a crazy week, and Ben started his first day with Lifetouch training to take photos for schools.
 For those who include us in your prayers, please pray for guidance as we have some important decisions to work through over the next couple months as well as for Ben to find a permenint fulltime job (he is currently only employed up until November). Please pray that I  can also find a position that allows me to make use of my education.

We are missing everyone in Regina lots right now and for everyone reading this, please feel free to stop buy if you are in the area.

to settle the score

Well..about 2 weeks ago we moved all my junk into our apartment, and I must say I am quite surprised as to how much space actually exists within those walls. Our apartment is a 2 bedroom with a spacious living room and storage place. Our kitchen is not. However somehow the bazillion boxes we put in there, did not even come close to taking up all the space, which in a sense is kind of nice.
   Since the move the first weekend in July, I have been busy, or rather we have been busy. Ben had a job interview last week and we are still awaiting the news. This job would be rather nice as it would be permenent, full time and it would keep him close to home (he has a job with lifetouch photography, but its only until November, so we are looking for something more permanent.) I'm still on the prowl for the job i desire. I have yet to hear back about a subbing position, but I'm trying to keep an open mind and just trust that God knows what he's doing. In the mean time, I'm still working with the 2 children with autism, and am trying to secure another job to help pass the time (I work part-time hours) SO for those of you reading this, please pray that I am able to secure a job.
Moving on, these past eight months have flown by and as of today we have less than 2 weeks left before we get hitched..the scary part is we still have so much behind the scene details to complete. I'm so ready to get married already, and have Ben home with me in Saskatoon. Our honeymoon is still in the working though we do know we are roadtripping it among other things and will be ending up in Calgary on August 7th...
However I should move on. Today needs to be productive as I head back to Saskatoon for the last time before the wedding tomorrow, and have much to get done including shopping and such...I shall keep you all posted...Have a great day:D

and the clock slowly ticks...

It's less then a month till the big day. I still have 2 and some pages worth of stuff todo, and at the moment I'm not really worried. Yesterday I found out my hair salon for the wedding is went out of business, and I managed to find  a fill in, though I am still looking for a salon that has a different schedule.
I've had a pedicure...and am slowly beginning to realize why women pamper themselves...it's amazing.
I still have favours to put together, a card box to decorate and an apartment to move into.
I HAVE an amazing fiance who pushes me to be a better person and has been a continuous help with the wedding. I know that I can trust him and I admire how involved he gets. I am also very thankful, that he is a details person because without him...well...lets just say that there would be no decor. :D
I still need to by a bazillion things for drinks and what not..BUT we do have a honeymoon...that's good.

Regardless of what I have yet to accomplish I am learning to love the little things that come about each day. Conversations with children, or friends. Sunsets and thunderstorms. I know that right now, Saskatoon does not look too interesting, and I know that we still have a long way to go to create the network of friends we have here. But I am learning that maybe change can be a good thing and that God wants us to grow, and develope and if my life in Saskatoon were a replica of what I have here, then I never would grow. I would not learn to push myself, and to develop into the woman God wants me to be. He has blessed me with an amazing future husband and family friends that I know I can trust (regardless of how far away they maybe). He works on his time, NOT mine; which drives me crazy and yet provides a feeling of adventure.
So what ever the future holds i say: BRING IT ON...I'm kind, sorta ready ;)

Faith Like Joshua...

I have been watching as the status' of my classmates start listing how they have jobs, and I can't help but wonder, what about me? For those who dont know, I was offered a job but declined as it was not in an ideal location, nor was it ideal for job getting for Ben. So I continued my search, after a series of events, I had thought I had landed a subbing job with Saskatoon, and thus turned down any other offers. Throughout that weekend, Ben and I came to realize that perhaps saskatoon was where God was sending us. We gave notice to our apartment (which then in turn gave Kim and Jeff a place to live) and after talking to my mother, I had a part time job working as a care giver to two children with autism. However, about a week or two after plans to move had been made, I recieved the letter stating that at this moment there was no available position for me to fill. I figured God had something up his sleave, or things would not have worked out the way they did. That was at the begining of April.
    It is now the end of May and I currently hold no certainty of any position what so ever, and Ben, well neither does he (for saskatoon. He currently is working with the CTF in Regina.) I have begun to wonder if perhaps we were wrong and maybe we had misunderstood God's direction, and thus that brings us to this morning...
  I was lying in my bed around 6:30 (This is what happens when a certain sisters alarm vibrates through the wall waking her older sister up from her restfull, peacefull slumber) thinking about the whole job situcation and Saskatoon. God and I were sort of talking (I was complaining, he was listening...) when the story of Joshua came to mind, along with Hebrews 11 (the faith chapter). Thus I began to contemplate, comparing Joshua to myself.
 When one starts looking at the story of Joshua, we start the book off, with God telling Joshua to persevere and be couragous. God tells Joshua that he is going to be with him. He gives him encouragement, and tells him to just trust and have faith.
Now Joshua, is expected to do great things, cross the sea, knock down a wall, by simply walking around 7 times and then yelling, etc. and as I read through the first few chapters, I pictured Joshua having a conversation with God similar to this:
God: Joshua, you are going to knock the wall down surrounding Jehrico.
Joshua: oh yea? how?
God: by walking quietly around it once a day for seven days. On the seventh day, the priests will blow their horns and the people will yell, and the wall will come crashing down.
Joshua: Are you serious?
God: Yes.
J:Have you seen that thing? It's thick and large, what is walking going to do?
G: You have to trust me Joshua, I will deliver the people of Jehrico, as long as you follow my directions.
and then they contiune with the finer details.
 In the end, Josh does these things, and they all come true just as God had planned, but when the isrialites start sinning, suddenly things stop. I believe at this point, Joshua starts to get discouraged because in chapter 8, God once again encourages Joshua, to trust and not to get discouraged everything will work out.
  So how does this relate you wonder? I am sure we have all experienced times in our lives where things just seem to be going great, we are conquoring any hurdles that come our way, and then, suddenly something happens, and we become discouraged, unsure if what we are doing is really the right thing. To that, I believe, God is telling us to keep going, things are gonna work out. Just like he did to Joshua we have to trust that maybe the impossible really can happen and we can knock down the thick walls of troubles by simply trusting that God will deliver us, and that he knows what he's doing.
 After all having faith (or believing in the impossible) is being sure of what we hope for and certain of that which we do not know. (hebrews 11:1)
Thus I know find myself anticipating what God has in store not only for me, but for Benjamin and well.

with 2 months remaining...

I cannot believe how fast the day is coming, and how much I have to accomplish. It seems like just yesterday, Ben proposed and we started the planning...now its 2 months away and I have yet to finish the ever growing list of things to accomplish.
  This past month has been crazy busy. I finished my degree in Education which was a huge weight off my shoulder, and now am awaiting my confirmation on June 11, 2010. As well, for those who did not know, Ben and I have decided to move to Saskatoon in hopes of pursuing a job for myself. Thus, I moved home with my parents and have been trying to secure a residence in Saskatoon or surrounding area. (If anyone knows of any, I would love to know about it). To wrap up this crazy month, this past weekend, Ben and I drove to Dauphin, MB to celebrate my Baba and Gedo A's 50th Wedding anniversary and then headed back to Regina to Celebrate the union of our friends Kim and Jeff S.
 Now to sit and relax I am amazed at how much Ben and I have accomplished. We are slowly working out the details of our wedding, not easy with me being 200+km away from him as well, we are working on the long distance of our relationship, as this is the first time we are away from each other for long periods of time.
 In the area of job hunting, my search is still on. We are continually praying that we are following God's plan for us and are learning the art of trusting God and following through with real Faith. With this area of our life still so in the dark, we can truely only trust that God knows what he is doing and is working his plan as I write.
    At the start of May, I was blessed with a beautiful Bridal shower put on by my lovely maid of honor and bridesmaid.It was wonderful to see how many people love and know Ben and me. I cannot even begin to express how loved I felt that day. If either of my ladies are reading this, Thank-you, I truely appreciate you. Ben sits here beside me reading as I write, and insists that I include the part of the shower, where he got the death sentence to pie me in the face...he thinks he got off scott free....
I certainly hope to keep you all up to date, as many of my readers (if any) are in Regina...but as for now, I'm signing off..have a wonerful week!

Just to Be with you

 I have been listening to Third Day recently, and i came across this song and it really hit home. I felt like God wanted me to share something with you in regards to this song. Many of you may just ignore this or look past it, however, I encourage you to stop for a minute and read the lyrics of the song.

I've heard a tale that a man would climb a mountain
Just to be with the one he loves.
How many times has he broken that promise?
It has never been done
Well I never climbed the highest mountain,
but I walked the hill of calvary

And just to be with you I'll do anything,
there's no price I would not pay, no
Just to be with you I will give everything.
I would give my life away.
Yeaaaa

I've heard it said that a man would swim an ocean
Just to be with the one he loves.
But all of those dreams are an empty emotion
It can never be done.
Well I never swam the deepest ocean
But I walked upon the raging sea

And just to be with you I'll do anything,
there's no price I would not pay, no
and just to be with you I would give everything.
I would give my life away.
Yeaaaa

And I know that you don't understand the fullness of my love
How I died upon the Cross for your sin
And I know that you don't realize how much that I give you
And I promise I would do it all again

Just to be with you I've done everything
There's no price I did not pay, no
Just to be with you I gave everything
Yes I gave my life away.
Yeaaaaa

Just to be with you
Oh, just to be with you (3x)

This was written from the perspective of Jesus. This is what he is saying to you, his child. He really loves you so much that he literally has walked on water  (Matthew 14:22-33), Climbed the  hill of Calvary and then died(Matthew 27:35) so that he could be with you for eternity. He wants you to understand that his life was a love story, one that many have promised but never actually lived out. Jesus did. He is the real deal and desires to know you in a personal way. So maybe reading this you just laugh, and roll your eyes. Or maybe you've stopped and seriously considered what the song is saying. He's not making empty promises that he cannot live up to. He already has full filled those promises. He's not gonna force himself on you, instead, he is  waiting patiently for you to make the choice to take him up on his promises and live eternally with him. So, will you take him up on his offer, the choice is yours.

Too long

Howdy!
 It has defintely been awhile since I last wrote...Lots has happened..ok not too much, just a small amount that relates to one area of life or anther.
 Today I started to send out invitations...only like 25 of them..so if your reading this and have not yet recieved your invitations..do not feel bad..they will make it your way soon..I only have so much time and perhaps I dont have your address...most likely i do and its in the mail..so just sit back and relax..its coming,.
 I have an interview on Saturday...A big one, its with a Hutterite Colony just outside of Val MArie (a small town in the middle of nowhere) It would be a big move, I'm kinda nervous and excited all at the same time. Ben has been awesome, backing me up 100%. A big thing for him as the likely chances of him getting an awesome job are slim. The school would have 5 students gr.K-8..so class size is a dream. It appears to be one of those dream jobs in a not so dreamy location.
 School is a whole other place. It seems that I just cant get it all done and still have time to spare. Sure it has calmed down lots, but the last month is slowly coming. Its a relief to know though that I shall have a degree after all of this. Something that I have dreamed about for four years now and finally I have achieved that goal.
 My little brother graduates this year as well. It's hard to believe...18 years have pretty much come in his life..WOW!!! he did get into engineering..which is awesome. I'm proud of him...though I may not say it enough.
  Wedding planning is going..happening, slowly. Its not as stressful as it could be. Ben has been a  huge help. Although he maybe the source of many arguments...he has been a strong source of strength, love and support. I know that I can count on him to help me out, and to do things that I may not have the time for.
 About 2 weeks ago I got sick on the day we were supposed to be making invitations. He took control and thanks to all the ladies who came out to help, he got them finished and to me by the end of the day. He rocks.
    He has recently got me into The Big Bang Theory, which has become a source of entertainment for us in the evening hours, as we relax and just enjoy the nerdy humour of the show.
 Well thats all for now..got to get to class..hopefully I can post something soon about the Job. If your reading this, please pray for us and the up coming decisions we have to make for our future. Thanks :)

As a new year begins

For my one reader who spends all his time with me and still has this desire to read abou thte events he was with me to expereince..why I shall never understand.

I just finished my very first teacher interview...nothing too big just meeting with the superintendents, and hoping they like me enough to pass me on to the principals. I wonder why we put ourselves through all this. Dressing up to impress some person you may never actually see again..some of us may see them, but that can be a rarety and we go into these interviews saying what they hope they like. Me personally, I belive that we should just say it as it is..they want you to teach kindergarten, and you would rather lock the kids in the closet, then dont take the job..enough of this take what you can get. Sometimes I think that its more of a hinderance and a disadvantage to the students, when we take positions that we are unqualified for...honestly, just be honest you cant do it or would hate every minute then do us all a favour and say so.

To wrap up the rest of my life in the past few months the one word that comes to mind is crazy..or maybe its two words crazy and busy. It's as though the end of internship signaled the end to all sanity, between school, wedding stuff and planning the rest of my life via job...I have very little time for school. How I have forgotten what it was like to constantly have things to do, group projects, blogs for a class, various individual assignments, I sometimes just have to wonder when does this maddness end? Will there ever be an ending? Will I ever regain my sanity, or has that become a thing of the past? If i thought internshup was bad, man was I in for a surprise, I find myself with more stress and less sanity as evreyday passes. Are these things booked, what about invites? when are we gonna send those out, how about gift registry, or perhaps we can just get people to buy the 3 or rather 2 items on our list, we could use say 50 popcorn poppers anyway. I know this sounds a little intense, and perhaps I am just exagurating,

 Wedding plans just seem to keep coming. Its like they never stop. First its book the big things then all those small details that no one thinks of such as timing, music, decor and dont forget silverwear and plates..In my opinion I just want the man and a really big party..ok so really i just want the man (that's for your sake Ben :D) Why we need to worry about plates is beyond my understanding and yet at times I find myself succumbing to the stuff of weddings that only matter up until that day. I wonder why one feels this need to want the perfect look, the only thing that will stand after that one day, is the dress (saying you keep it) and the meaning behind the rings..pictures are there, but they grow old and people change as the years pass by. The real idea behind the wedding the joining of two lives, is never given much thought during those few or many months spent planning. Have we by some chance put too much emphasise on wanting our guest to remember, will it not be enough when the couple married is still together 65 years later? Why do we put the pressure on for a bride and groom to plan this extravagent event, for thier celebration that could at times leave them hundreds of dollars in depth.

Its hard to find time in this day and age with our busyness to just stop and enjoy each others company, there is always something to do, something to think about and on most days many things to worry about. I'm guilty of that, I think I get so caught up in all this stuff, that I have difficulty just stopping and enjoying the moments with my best friend. I plan instead of enjoy, I plan instead of live, I let my planning stop me from living in the moment and experiences all tha God has given to me. SOmetime I even get so caught up in my planning that I forget that God has the planning done, I just am needed to do the execution...silly me.

Well thats all for today, maybe I'll write again sometimes soon..maybe ;)