"and he went out, not knowing where he was going."

 Christmas has once again come and gone. New Years is fast approaching and I have decided to take a few moments, to reflect upon the past year. It was busy one. Things just seemed to happen abruptly and continuously. No sooner had one thing finished that another thing was upon us. Amongst this craziness, a few events have had huge impacts on my life.
    The first one being I graduated, or rather convocated as I like to refure to it. finally four years, thousands of dollars later and I can now proudly say, I hold a bachelor in Education. The second thing was the wedding. We pledged our lives together, for better of for worse in front of hundreds of people in Ben's hometown of Regina. Finally, the one that has made a lasting impression on not only us, both those around us. Our decision to move. It is this decision though that I find the need for serious reflection or at least poses the desire to discuss with you as it has definitely been an interesting journey.
  We moved to Saskatoon, in hopes of pursing a job for me. I had been given the impression, that I had one all I had to do was confirm. Well a few days after all arrangement s had been made to move. I recieved a letter informing me that there was no position available. I figured this was only a minor setback. As all other plans were workign for the better. Our apartment went to friends who needed a home, I had a job lined up almost as soon as I arrieved home and thus, we continued with our plans, and moved here.
   Truth be told, we've encountered many setbacks. Ben managed to get a job. Nothing permenant, nothing he really enjoys. Yes he does have a full time job and we thank God for that, and it has good pay, but its not what he feels called to do. As well, I have been unsuccessful at attain perment work. I sub irregularly, work 4 hours a week as a gym teacher at a private school, and waitress. Honestly this was not what I thought I was signing up for. I thought God had confirmed things. I figured that coming here, life would take off, that we would find our calling.
 In Decemeber, I applied for a job, and was turned down. It hit me a little harder than i had planned. I had been so frustrated with God. that it was the final blow. I continually questioned God. What was he doing? where were we headed. Ben and I, look at Saskatoon and wonder what we are doing here. We have had the opportunity to reconnect with my family. Over the past four years, I admit to not being the best big sister, as a matter of fact, I have pretty much been out of the picture. Not only has living in another city, moved me away from them, but it gave me a life, one that really did not involve them. Moving back has allowed me to connect with them, to work on our relationships. My brother was allowed to stay with us, durinvg the first semester of school, and while we spent tons of time with Ben's family during our dating and engagement period, my family saw very little of him, or heard from him even less. Now, he is able to be apart of thier lives, to get involved with them and build relationships that had we not been here, would have been very difficult for him to do.
  A few days ago, I was doing a devotional called My Utmost for his Highest the grad addition and  the passage was from Hebrews 11:8, "and he went out, not knowing where he was going." It hit home with me. the book went on to talk about how we are called to follow God in faith, and at times we dont always know where that is leading us, or what the end result is. It talked about changing the questions from 'What are you doing God?' (as he never will tell you) but rather to, 'Who are you God?' and allowing God to reveal himself to you with each situation that you encounter. They are all apart of the grand plan that God has laid out for us. By asking who God is, it draws us closer to God's character and thus creates a trust and faith. The book talks about being willing to 'go out' for God and just follow with out knowing the where, just trusting in who God is, and what he can do. Learning to let go and let God.
    I see now, that I may not know the reason that we are in Saskatoon, nor do i know that this is the final resting stop for my family. I feel like God put us here, to help develop the relationships that were lacking in the past, and to allow us to grow. I am learning about God's faithfulness and his ability to provide regardless of the circumstances. Ben and I are still learning the art of being a married couple, we know that God has something big planned, and that no matter where he takes us, whether its Austrailia, Malasia,Mexico, Carenport, Regina, or if we never leave Saskatoon, we must be willing to Go. We're working on it. I know that it wont be easy, as God loves to push people out of their comfort zone and it may require lots of work, but regardless of that, we know that where ever we are headed God will never leave us or forsake us, we just have to trust.