Sometimes it amazes me how we can become so obsessed with our own plans that we somehow miss out on the directions and careful guiding that God is giving us. I know I really should not be that surprised, yet when life finally starts to quiet down and I get to thinking I am always amazed at where I am, as though I was suddenly here by accident and not by some devine intervention.
As I look back over the past two years, I cant help but smile at the many moments of frustration I have experienced because life was not going the way I had planned it. We moved to Saskatoon, and I was sure that although it was not our stopping place it was a place we needed to be at, very quickly though I had forgotten all about that feeling and became bogged down with wanting life to go a certain way, I wanted that job I would love and I wanted Ben to find work with a good paycheck and I wanted to have loads of friends and I wanted one of those marriages that people just smile as they encounter you because its one of those dream marriages. The problem was...it was exactly what I wanted. I never really stopped to ask God for his opinion, I just expected him to be there and doing as I asked. I mean HE had gotten me into school, HE had gotten us an amazing apartment with very cheap rent, and eventually HE gave us an amazing little princess..so HE should then give me what I wanted...It never happened. I only got a .75 job for 1/2 a year, Ben has yet to get a job that pays great and does not have crappy hours and while we are starting to meet people, we are once again uprooting (more on that in a minute). As for the marriage part..well, given some of the jobs that Ben has had, it has definitely had its moments.
Yet as I look back, I see that it was all for a reason, one unseen to me as it was occuring. (I know that many of you reading this will be nodding because you too have been in this place). You see all the things that we were experiencing were preparing us for something bigger, something we would not have dreamed of or planned. We bought a house recently, something I never thought possible for at least a few years. Sure it may not be my dream home, but its a 4 bedroom, large yard, 1 1/2 storey, old home that has been gutted and re-done. Now this is not the moment God prepared us for, but it plays a small role. The house is located in Dalmeny, Sk, and we currently own it, and will be moving out there come the end of July. Until then we are living with my family as we have a renter who could not get out by the first of July.
God has been preparing us more for the living there than anything else. As not many know, I have taken a position as .25 Children's Ministry Coordinator, working with the Kids Club at a church that is about a 2 minute walk from our home (its pretty much behind the house). It is only because of the past events that I even bothered to apply, as I had previously been offered a position at a different church when we first moved to saskatoon, but had turned it down in hopes of obtaining a permenant teaching position. This job however, will allow me to pick my days, with little commute. It holds a possibility to grow into a more permenant job, but at the moment is exactly what I am looking for. One top of that because of a class I took this past year, I will also be able to be a more supportive and encouraging leader.
The town itself is exactly what I had hoped to raise my family in. A christian community, with excellent extracurricular programs and a community that watches out for the children. Ben's favourite part is that the grocery store plays christian music.
As Ben and I have been exploring the town and visiting the church where I will be working, it all just seems to fit and we are getting very excited about finally living there. It feels like it is exactly where we are supposed to be, a stopping place for our family...At least for now.
And by the way..if any of you are in the area, feel free to stop by for a snack, a meal, or place to rest your head (we now have the room:D)
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
What we've been up to...
Well, I figured it was high time I filled those of you whom we don't talk to on a regular basis in with the going ons in our life.
Benjamin, works as a security guard, which means he's working nights and sleeping days. The nice part is, he gets Sunday am to Tuesday PM off, so we get to spend some time with him. His days are generally spent sleeping and in the evening spending time with his ladies. He is also involved with the lighting and worship at our church. It's so great that he gets to do something he is so passionate about.
Together, we recently bought a house in Dalmeny, which is super exciting, as it means D will have a place to grow up and play. Shortly after her birth, it was brought to our attention that our apartment building was not kid friendly. We will be moving out at the end of June, and should be settled by August...so if your in our neck of the woods, feel free to stop by and visit.
Speaking of her, she is growing up so much. She is very much attentive and animated, recently learning how to scream and yell. SHe seems to enjoy shopping and being around people. Recent shopping trips have included her getting extrememly excited over pink and green clothing and room stuff. She is also enjoys being apart of conversations and never really seems to run out of things to say. :D She has recently discovered the girl in the mirror and spends many moments in the day smiling and conversing with that girl. This little sweetie is capable of rolling over from her front to back, though perfers to push herself around on her back. She also has a strong desire to be standing and sitting, rather then lying down.
We are also currently working on booking our first family vacation, which shall be an adventure of its own.
So that;s our lives in a nutshell. We are loving where God seems to be leading us and are enjoying meeting people, through our couples small group, a moms group I attended or just in our every day going abouts. God has been so active in our lives and we anticipate where he will be leading us in the next chapter of our lives.
Benjamin, works as a security guard, which means he's working nights and sleeping days. The nice part is, he gets Sunday am to Tuesday PM off, so we get to spend some time with him. His days are generally spent sleeping and in the evening spending time with his ladies. He is also involved with the lighting and worship at our church. It's so great that he gets to do something he is so passionate about.
Together, we recently bought a house in Dalmeny, which is super exciting, as it means D will have a place to grow up and play. Shortly after her birth, it was brought to our attention that our apartment building was not kid friendly. We will be moving out at the end of June, and should be settled by August...so if your in our neck of the woods, feel free to stop by and visit.
Speaking of her, she is growing up so much. She is very much attentive and animated, recently learning how to scream and yell. SHe seems to enjoy shopping and being around people. Recent shopping trips have included her getting extrememly excited over pink and green clothing and room stuff. She is also enjoys being apart of conversations and never really seems to run out of things to say. :D She has recently discovered the girl in the mirror and spends many moments in the day smiling and conversing with that girl. This little sweetie is capable of rolling over from her front to back, though perfers to push herself around on her back. She also has a strong desire to be standing and sitting, rather then lying down.
We are also currently working on booking our first family vacation, which shall be an adventure of its own.
So that;s our lives in a nutshell. We are loving where God seems to be leading us and are enjoying meeting people, through our couples small group, a moms group I attended or just in our every day going abouts. God has been so active in our lives and we anticipate where he will be leading us in the next chapter of our lives.
Friday, May 4, 2012
This too shall pass...
Dealing with my sweetie has taught me that things in life come in
phases. This is something that some of you may have heard me share
before, but I have decided that I shall share this with the rest of you
in this online world.
Around the time my little girl turned 6 weeks, she became a constant crier, she cried over everything (as I have read all babies do)...There were the moments that I felt I would never have made it..that perhaps I was the worlds worst mom since I just wanted to leave her in her crib and let her cry..i felt that I had no way of helping her. She would eat and within a few minutes be crying, changing her diaper was pretty much the only time this little person would smile and giggle (she enjoys being diaperless)...I had read that after 6 weeks, the crying starts to come to a close, and so I did my best to wait it out..the next few weeks seemed like the longest days of my life. Now, that same little child spends her day "using her words" and only cries when she is over-tired, starving or hurt.
Moms out there, I know that many of you are thinking over the many phases of your child(ren) and some are probably even going, you just wait....but my main focus is not on the fact that my daughter has some not so glorious moments, but rather the focus is on the fact that good or bad, long or short, life happens in phases.
I find this idea to be particularily comforting currently as my husband works nights, and thus is rarely seen by me or our daughter. For those of you not familiar with the idea of a spouce or parent working nights, he goes to work for 11pm ends shift around 7am and then sleeps till who knows when in the afternoon, 5 days a week. Its quite a long phase we have entered and one that I would never wish upon anyone. Before I drew this conclusion about our life and phases, it was very aggrivating, I wondered what we had done to God to deserve this lifestyle..afterall, were there not any single people out there who could do this, instead of a man with a wife and new child. Now however, I just trust in God, nowing that one day this phase too shall pass.
SO for all off you out there in not so great moments, know that it is just a phase and as with all phases it too shall pass.
Around the time my little girl turned 6 weeks, she became a constant crier, she cried over everything (as I have read all babies do)...There were the moments that I felt I would never have made it..that perhaps I was the worlds worst mom since I just wanted to leave her in her crib and let her cry..i felt that I had no way of helping her. She would eat and within a few minutes be crying, changing her diaper was pretty much the only time this little person would smile and giggle (she enjoys being diaperless)...I had read that after 6 weeks, the crying starts to come to a close, and so I did my best to wait it out..the next few weeks seemed like the longest days of my life. Now, that same little child spends her day "using her words" and only cries when she is over-tired, starving or hurt.
Moms out there, I know that many of you are thinking over the many phases of your child(ren) and some are probably even going, you just wait....but my main focus is not on the fact that my daughter has some not so glorious moments, but rather the focus is on the fact that good or bad, long or short, life happens in phases.
I find this idea to be particularily comforting currently as my husband works nights, and thus is rarely seen by me or our daughter. For those of you not familiar with the idea of a spouce or parent working nights, he goes to work for 11pm ends shift around 7am and then sleeps till who knows when in the afternoon, 5 days a week. Its quite a long phase we have entered and one that I would never wish upon anyone. Before I drew this conclusion about our life and phases, it was very aggrivating, I wondered what we had done to God to deserve this lifestyle..afterall, were there not any single people out there who could do this, instead of a man with a wife and new child. Now however, I just trust in God, nowing that one day this phase too shall pass.
SO for all off you out there in not so great moments, know that it is just a phase and as with all phases it too shall pass.
Friday, April 13, 2012
naps
My daughter has this thing about naps...she rarely takes them, unless she gets to sleep on somone, or in the car (though this is become a much less occurance). The naps that occur on her own, in her own bed, last 20-45 minutes and on a good day I can get about an hour (this has been going on since she was about 2 weeks old). My mother says I'm lucky, apparently her children only slept 15 minute intervals, but woke up happy and content. My daughter, seems to need her sleep, and yet is driven to stay awake so that she can take part in the world. The only good thing that comes out of this is that she sleeps at night..quite well, in her 2.5months of life she has slept through the night numerous times and generally only gets up for one feeding.
On a good day I can handle this, however on more than one occasion, her need to sleep on someone has gotten in the way of my ability to accomplish tasks around the house, thus leaving me in a frustrated state.
As I reflect upon her sleep habits, it makes me think of my own walk with God (strange I know). Am I a christian who like my daughter's sleeping habits, need to be with someone in order for me to grow and develop? Does my walk when done on my own last only a few days or months before dwindling off ? Yes, christianity is not an individual walk, but there is some parts of it that does need to require individualism, or quiet moments when it is just you and God. These are just as essential as the parts that occur when part of a small group, church or church ministry (youth, C&C, marriage Encounter, etc). When you look at Jesus` life, you find that he spent many moments alone, praying and conversing with his father.
I all too often find myself, struggling to grow independently. There is always something that seems to take up my time, or that I feel needs to be done, before I quiet myself before God. I seem to find it especially hard, as my little one spends more and more time awake, thus requiring my attention. So when she sleeps, I want to get the house in some what of an order. I know that God should come first, as the dishes, and tidying will still be there, and can be done while she is otherwise occupied, yet the human side of me struggles.
Jesus always had things he could have been doing, after all there were people to teach, and heal and miracles that needed to be performed. Jesus, however, always made sure that he spent time with his heavenly father, before embarking on the daily tasks. He understood that without God as his source he soon would tire and grow weary of the tasks required of him. After all, those people would still be there tomorrow, just as my laundry, dishes and whatever else I need to do will still be waiting for me.
On a good day I can handle this, however on more than one occasion, her need to sleep on someone has gotten in the way of my ability to accomplish tasks around the house, thus leaving me in a frustrated state.
As I reflect upon her sleep habits, it makes me think of my own walk with God (strange I know). Am I a christian who like my daughter's sleeping habits, need to be with someone in order for me to grow and develop? Does my walk when done on my own last only a few days or months before dwindling off ? Yes, christianity is not an individual walk, but there is some parts of it that does need to require individualism, or quiet moments when it is just you and God. These are just as essential as the parts that occur when part of a small group, church or church ministry (youth, C&C, marriage Encounter, etc). When you look at Jesus` life, you find that he spent many moments alone, praying and conversing with his father.
I all too often find myself, struggling to grow independently. There is always something that seems to take up my time, or that I feel needs to be done, before I quiet myself before God. I seem to find it especially hard, as my little one spends more and more time awake, thus requiring my attention. So when she sleeps, I want to get the house in some what of an order. I know that God should come first, as the dishes, and tidying will still be there, and can be done while she is otherwise occupied, yet the human side of me struggles.
Jesus always had things he could have been doing, after all there were people to teach, and heal and miracles that needed to be performed. Jesus, however, always made sure that he spent time with his heavenly father, before embarking on the daily tasks. He understood that without God as his source he soon would tire and grow weary of the tasks required of him. After all, those people would still be there tomorrow, just as my laundry, dishes and whatever else I need to do will still be waiting for me.
Monday, February 27, 2012
A new parent.
I realized it's been over a year since I lasted posted on this site, and wow! have our lives changed. I have lived through a six month teaching job in Davidson, a job change by Ben, a trip to B.C, and the biggest change of all, getting pregnant. Our little angel is now 1 month old, and I thought I would fill the world in with all I have learned and experienced.
On January 25, 2012 my role as mommy began.
For the first week, I had a few fairly sleepless nights, however, very quickly it became apparent just how blessed Ben and I were. Our little princess would sleep wonderfully at night (3.5-5 hours at a time) and was quite happy and content during the day. As a brand new mom I averaged about 6-8 hours a night!
As she grows, she continues to steal our hearts, as she discovers new things. Currently, she is on the floor, making the rattle on her hand shake, babbling to her self (a common occurance).
Over the past week, I have seen her discover how her hands can make the toys on her bouncy chair move, and heard her giggle at me and to herself. She even falls asleep by herself on the rare occasion.
Of course if it was not for my mom, I'm not sure I would still have my sanity. She has been a huge blessing in my life. coming over, when Ben and I were both too emotionally drained to think properly, as well, she just stops by to hold our little girl, when we need her to.
Benjamin has also been a huge help. I seriously have the most amazing husband ever. He is a loving father, who takes interest in his daughter. He also helps me and cares for me, when I'm getting to frustrated to think straight. I love how he is always willing to help out and will ask me what he can do to make my life easier, or he will just take our daughter when I need a break. He also gives me one night a week, so I can attend a bible class, without the interference of a baby.
I've also learned many new things about myself. The first being, that there is no way i can possibly plan my day out the night before. Those who know me, know that I need to be in control and have a plan, and this little bundle of joy has done her best to remove the control I previously had. You can never predict how her schedual will change and how that could possibly impact your day. For example, she seems to love getting up at 5am, when we have to be some where at 9 or 10. This may not seem like a problem but she also likes to go back to bed between 7:30 and 8..a minor problem when you need to be out the door, and thus are not allowed to go back to sleep with her.
I have learned that I need to be a much more patient person. Anyone with children will be able to attest to this fact. I never realized how little I had, until the day I gave birth to our daughter.
I have also learned that I have a slight anger problem in the middle of the night and the wee hours in the morning. As most young babies do, my daughter sometimes forgets that 3am or 5am are still sleep times, and enjoys being up, craddled in your arms..which means you dont sleep much. At first I found this to be very cute, as she would lie awake in the dark just staring in my direction....I would drift off and wake up about 20 minutes laters, and she still would just be staring...however the cuteness wore off rather quickly as she also insisted that you hold her a certain way, and rock while doing this, thus making sleep something that is hard to come by.
I have also discovered how fast and hard you fall in love with your child. As I watch my little one sleep, she hits a certain stage where she starts to smile and her eyes flutter open. she is still asleep but the look on her face is priceless. I love cuddling her and the way that she cuddles into my neck. Most of all, I love watching as she discovers new things, the toys on her bouncy chair, the fact that if she moves her arm, her rattle bracelett will move, and how her voice sounds when she talks or giggles.
When I first got pregnant, I was worried how this adjustment would be to motherhood and maternity leave. I thought I would go stir crazy, and want to be back at work. Now, I love every minute of it and anticipate what my daughter will do next, loving the fact that I get to be there; experiencing it with her.
On January 25, 2012 my role as mommy began.
For the first week, I had a few fairly sleepless nights, however, very quickly it became apparent just how blessed Ben and I were. Our little princess would sleep wonderfully at night (3.5-5 hours at a time) and was quite happy and content during the day. As a brand new mom I averaged about 6-8 hours a night!
As she grows, she continues to steal our hearts, as she discovers new things. Currently, she is on the floor, making the rattle on her hand shake, babbling to her self (a common occurance).
Over the past week, I have seen her discover how her hands can make the toys on her bouncy chair move, and heard her giggle at me and to herself. She even falls asleep by herself on the rare occasion.
Of course if it was not for my mom, I'm not sure I would still have my sanity. She has been a huge blessing in my life. coming over, when Ben and I were both too emotionally drained to think properly, as well, she just stops by to hold our little girl, when we need her to.
Benjamin has also been a huge help. I seriously have the most amazing husband ever. He is a loving father, who takes interest in his daughter. He also helps me and cares for me, when I'm getting to frustrated to think straight. I love how he is always willing to help out and will ask me what he can do to make my life easier, or he will just take our daughter when I need a break. He also gives me one night a week, so I can attend a bible class, without the interference of a baby.
I've also learned many new things about myself. The first being, that there is no way i can possibly plan my day out the night before. Those who know me, know that I need to be in control and have a plan, and this little bundle of joy has done her best to remove the control I previously had. You can never predict how her schedual will change and how that could possibly impact your day. For example, she seems to love getting up at 5am, when we have to be some where at 9 or 10. This may not seem like a problem but she also likes to go back to bed between 7:30 and 8..a minor problem when you need to be out the door, and thus are not allowed to go back to sleep with her.
I have learned that I need to be a much more patient person. Anyone with children will be able to attest to this fact. I never realized how little I had, until the day I gave birth to our daughter.
I have also learned that I have a slight anger problem in the middle of the night and the wee hours in the morning. As most young babies do, my daughter sometimes forgets that 3am or 5am are still sleep times, and enjoys being up, craddled in your arms..which means you dont sleep much. At first I found this to be very cute, as she would lie awake in the dark just staring in my direction....I would drift off and wake up about 20 minutes laters, and she still would just be staring...however the cuteness wore off rather quickly as she also insisted that you hold her a certain way, and rock while doing this, thus making sleep something that is hard to come by.
I have also discovered how fast and hard you fall in love with your child. As I watch my little one sleep, she hits a certain stage where she starts to smile and her eyes flutter open. she is still asleep but the look on her face is priceless. I love cuddling her and the way that she cuddles into my neck. Most of all, I love watching as she discovers new things, the toys on her bouncy chair, the fact that if she moves her arm, her rattle bracelett will move, and how her voice sounds when she talks or giggles.
When I first got pregnant, I was worried how this adjustment would be to motherhood and maternity leave. I thought I would go stir crazy, and want to be back at work. Now, I love every minute of it and anticipate what my daughter will do next, loving the fact that I get to be there; experiencing it with her.
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