Just to Be with you

 I have been listening to Third Day recently, and i came across this song and it really hit home. I felt like God wanted me to share something with you in regards to this song. Many of you may just ignore this or look past it, however, I encourage you to stop for a minute and read the lyrics of the song.

I've heard a tale that a man would climb a mountain
Just to be with the one he loves.
How many times has he broken that promise?
It has never been done
Well I never climbed the highest mountain,
but I walked the hill of calvary

And just to be with you I'll do anything,
there's no price I would not pay, no
Just to be with you I will give everything.
I would give my life away.
Yeaaaa

I've heard it said that a man would swim an ocean
Just to be with the one he loves.
But all of those dreams are an empty emotion
It can never be done.
Well I never swam the deepest ocean
But I walked upon the raging sea

And just to be with you I'll do anything,
there's no price I would not pay, no
and just to be with you I would give everything.
I would give my life away.
Yeaaaa

And I know that you don't understand the fullness of my love
How I died upon the Cross for your sin
And I know that you don't realize how much that I give you
And I promise I would do it all again

Just to be with you I've done everything
There's no price I did not pay, no
Just to be with you I gave everything
Yes I gave my life away.
Yeaaaaa

Just to be with you
Oh, just to be with you (3x)

This was written from the perspective of Jesus. This is what he is saying to you, his child. He really loves you so much that he literally has walked on water  (Matthew 14:22-33), Climbed the  hill of Calvary and then died(Matthew 27:35) so that he could be with you for eternity. He wants you to understand that his life was a love story, one that many have promised but never actually lived out. Jesus did. He is the real deal and desires to know you in a personal way. So maybe reading this you just laugh, and roll your eyes. Or maybe you've stopped and seriously considered what the song is saying. He's not making empty promises that he cannot live up to. He already has full filled those promises. He's not gonna force himself on you, instead, he is  waiting patiently for you to make the choice to take him up on his promises and live eternally with him. So, will you take him up on his offer, the choice is yours.

Too long

Howdy!
 It has defintely been awhile since I last wrote...Lots has happened..ok not too much, just a small amount that relates to one area of life or anther.
 Today I started to send out invitations...only like 25 of them..so if your reading this and have not yet recieved your invitations..do not feel bad..they will make it your way soon..I only have so much time and perhaps I dont have your address...most likely i do and its in the mail..so just sit back and relax..its coming,.
 I have an interview on Saturday...A big one, its with a Hutterite Colony just outside of Val MArie (a small town in the middle of nowhere) It would be a big move, I'm kinda nervous and excited all at the same time. Ben has been awesome, backing me up 100%. A big thing for him as the likely chances of him getting an awesome job are slim. The school would have 5 students gr.K-8..so class size is a dream. It appears to be one of those dream jobs in a not so dreamy location.
 School is a whole other place. It seems that I just cant get it all done and still have time to spare. Sure it has calmed down lots, but the last month is slowly coming. Its a relief to know though that I shall have a degree after all of this. Something that I have dreamed about for four years now and finally I have achieved that goal.
 My little brother graduates this year as well. It's hard to believe...18 years have pretty much come in his life..WOW!!! he did get into engineering..which is awesome. I'm proud of him...though I may not say it enough.
  Wedding planning is going..happening, slowly. Its not as stressful as it could be. Ben has been a  huge help. Although he maybe the source of many arguments...he has been a strong source of strength, love and support. I know that I can count on him to help me out, and to do things that I may not have the time for.
 About 2 weeks ago I got sick on the day we were supposed to be making invitations. He took control and thanks to all the ladies who came out to help, he got them finished and to me by the end of the day. He rocks.
    He has recently got me into The Big Bang Theory, which has become a source of entertainment for us in the evening hours, as we relax and just enjoy the nerdy humour of the show.
 Well thats all for now..got to get to class..hopefully I can post something soon about the Job. If your reading this, please pray for us and the up coming decisions we have to make for our future. Thanks :)

As a new year begins

For my one reader who spends all his time with me and still has this desire to read abou thte events he was with me to expereince..why I shall never understand.

I just finished my very first teacher interview...nothing too big just meeting with the superintendents, and hoping they like me enough to pass me on to the principals. I wonder why we put ourselves through all this. Dressing up to impress some person you may never actually see again..some of us may see them, but that can be a rarety and we go into these interviews saying what they hope they like. Me personally, I belive that we should just say it as it is..they want you to teach kindergarten, and you would rather lock the kids in the closet, then dont take the job..enough of this take what you can get. Sometimes I think that its more of a hinderance and a disadvantage to the students, when we take positions that we are unqualified for...honestly, just be honest you cant do it or would hate every minute then do us all a favour and say so.

To wrap up the rest of my life in the past few months the one word that comes to mind is crazy..or maybe its two words crazy and busy. It's as though the end of internship signaled the end to all sanity, between school, wedding stuff and planning the rest of my life via job...I have very little time for school. How I have forgotten what it was like to constantly have things to do, group projects, blogs for a class, various individual assignments, I sometimes just have to wonder when does this maddness end? Will there ever be an ending? Will I ever regain my sanity, or has that become a thing of the past? If i thought internshup was bad, man was I in for a surprise, I find myself with more stress and less sanity as evreyday passes. Are these things booked, what about invites? when are we gonna send those out, how about gift registry, or perhaps we can just get people to buy the 3 or rather 2 items on our list, we could use say 50 popcorn poppers anyway. I know this sounds a little intense, and perhaps I am just exagurating,

 Wedding plans just seem to keep coming. Its like they never stop. First its book the big things then all those small details that no one thinks of such as timing, music, decor and dont forget silverwear and plates..In my opinion I just want the man and a really big party..ok so really i just want the man (that's for your sake Ben :D) Why we need to worry about plates is beyond my understanding and yet at times I find myself succumbing to the stuff of weddings that only matter up until that day. I wonder why one feels this need to want the perfect look, the only thing that will stand after that one day, is the dress (saying you keep it) and the meaning behind the rings..pictures are there, but they grow old and people change as the years pass by. The real idea behind the wedding the joining of two lives, is never given much thought during those few or many months spent planning. Have we by some chance put too much emphasise on wanting our guest to remember, will it not be enough when the couple married is still together 65 years later? Why do we put the pressure on for a bride and groom to plan this extravagent event, for thier celebration that could at times leave them hundreds of dollars in depth.

Its hard to find time in this day and age with our busyness to just stop and enjoy each others company, there is always something to do, something to think about and on most days many things to worry about. I'm guilty of that, I think I get so caught up in all this stuff, that I have difficulty just stopping and enjoying the moments with my best friend. I plan instead of enjoy, I plan instead of live, I let my planning stop me from living in the moment and experiences all tha God has given to me. SOmetime I even get so caught up in my planning that I forget that God has the planning done, I just am needed to do the execution...silly me.

Well thats all for today, maybe I'll write again sometimes soon..maybe ;)

soo much todo

These past few weeks have consisted of school all week, and then wedding stuff on Saturday. The first week went great, got the church booked, then the hall...and then...AHHHHH it seems as though nothing seems to end. As soon as I start thinking about one thing, suddenly it as though that one thing has opened the door to a billion other things.
For example, this past weekend, my maid of honour, Jaci and I went shopping and were looking for ideas and the bridesmaid dresses. (we ended up finding center piece ideas which was nice.) This search naturally lead us into a tux shop. With our colours in mind we went about trying to find the "perfect" look before we set the boys about their ordering and trying on. Well this whole even left me feeling unsettled as we looked at our colours and discovered them to be slightly 80's ish on the guys side. This was definitely not what we wanted. Not wanting to feel to discouraged, we headed over the dress store beside and low and behold we found the perfect dress. Now I wish I could show you the previous dress we found before finding this gorgeous one, but Jaci and I amongst our laughter did not even think to pull out the camera, for it looked as though we had placed her in a garbage bag (Now those who are a bridesmaid for me can thank JAci later for her effort and patience she had while I dragged her from store to store and had her try on numerous dresses, not all of them being very flattering.) Anyways the dress we have now found was a beauty, however the discovery of this has thrown a kink in our plans, as I am now on the search for a new flower girl dress, as the tutu idea I had orginally planned is not going to work.

Now I would love to tell you all the lovely details of this day, but have decided to instead head to bed, stay tuned for more lovely happenings in my quest for the perfect day.

At just the right time....

As many of you know, I got engaged on November 8,2009 to Benjamin Cowman. It was really quite a surprise. I had suspected that he had gotten the ring, due to some careless comments on his part, however I had not expected him to propose until at least January, or maybe at the earliest around Christmas. As you can all tell, I was mistaken.
My dad's dad had passed away on the Wednesday before and the funeral was to be Friday (prayers) and Saturday funeral. Before going up, I had instructed Ben that he was in no way supposed to ask my dad (Ben had been hinting/teasing that he was going to do so.) On the Saturday after the funeral, Ben asked my mom, if there was a good time for him to come up that week to talk to my dad. My mom (unaware of my instructions to Ben ;P) told him that there was no time like the present, as a question like that could help to boost his spirits. Thus, Ben asked my dad..and obviously you can guess what the response was.
Now Ben is horrible at keeping secrets and so after getting the yes, went on to tell my entire immediate family minus my brother Justin that he was going to propose, as well, had told a few people here in Regina (amazingly everyone managed to keep it a secret from me.)
On Saturday afternoon, we decided to drive Jerrid back to Saskatoon, he had a hockey game that night, and I was still hoping to enjoy the weekend away from Regina. On the drive down Ben was being all sweet and loving and suggested we go for a fancy diner, however, upon arrival home I discovered I had nothing to wear and thus we ended up eating at Jerry's with my brother (who had decided not to go) and then hanging out with my cousin Ashly.
The next morning, Ben asked if we could just hang out in Saskatoon until Jaci and Will showed up there (They were coming to Saskatoon to for her birthday) I figured that made sense as we would probably get out of church by the time they were even half way here. He then goes on to say we could go out for lunch than go for a walk. This got my mind wheeling..A WALK!?!!?!?! I usually have to drag his butt for a walk...now he is proposing that we go for one..I started to pester him, about this sudden change of character. It was all made clear after church as we headed to get some stuff for our picnic. He said that he wanted us to have a positive day because the past weekend activities were depressign and not really positive..To me this was enough explanation as to why he was acting to so funny.
We headed to the train bridge and had a lovely picnic down on a fishing pierre (to many of you, you can see where this is headed..and at this moment I was still clueless, lol) We then walked accross the train bridge and started on the path on the other side. THere is this ledge, not far from the train bridge that over looks the river and is absolutly breath taking. I stopped here to view as I had never been this far on this side before. We started talking about my up coming job applications and I was asking if he could live in Saskatoon once we finally got married. The next few minutes look something like this.
" This is the perfect spot" (Ben)
"Yup"(me) after a few minutes, recognizing that i have no idea what he is talking about and wondering if he thinks he can put a house on the ledge then goes "For what?"
"to propose." (Ben)
I stop listening and try to figure out what is going on...He then pulls out the ring, and gets down on one knee, says some stuff ( Something LIke I love you, we can finally make it official and will you be my wife..there was more but that's all I can remember)
I then spend the next minute or so still trying to figure out what this man is saying to me, my mind racing from ring to the word proposal...when what is happing finally hits me..I have to mentally tell myself to answer his question. With a yes he pulls me into a hug and I start laughing. (very romantic I know)
The next ten minutes or so consisted of me freaking out calling people and leaving inaudible messages that no one not even myself when listening to them makes sense (you who got texts are lucky lol)
We have been enjoying the engagment process, and will be getting married on July 24, 2010 I simply cannot wait!

The moments in life

You know those days, when all seems to go wrong. When your bombarded with one awful moment after another? First you cant sleep all night, then you have parents and stubborn students and then there is the parking ticket that you got because you did a quick 5 minute run in to get a student loan sheet that shouldnt need to be done, but due the circumstances needs to get done...and then there is the traffic and the marking and all that other really fun stuff? Obviously That was my day. But that is not what I write to you about today. Tonight as I drove home from a generally crazy day in the life of Kristen, I started thinking about the little things that perhaps would work to make this day a little more of a blessing and less of a day from hell.
First there is an I love you text to kick start your day. These are often rare occurances (Ladies you may know what I am talking about) But they seem to have the power to make that lack of sleep night, almost worth it.
Then, there are the moments when you walk into the classroom and the noisest kids are quiet, reading and on task. Of course you stop youself and look twice as such an occurance is a rarety, but upon further investigation you see that indeed these kids are on task (of course you must first look past the quiet kids who are noise discussing the events of recess and everything else non class related :D)
And of course, one cannot forget the innocent comments made by your students about your love life. For example after not seeing my students for about and hour, I was late getting to class as I had a phone call to resond to, upon entering my classroom, my students ask if I was engaged, and then fabricated this story about how my boyfriend/fiance guy had gotten down an come over to ask me to get engaged...their words not mine. lol..How can one not laugh?
One must also remember their friends, and how they each serve their purpose..and nothing can make a day better than catching up with old friends. I am so thankful for each on of them..after all with out them I would be quite a loser :P I love you all...
Of course there is also the person who sits beside you marking papers, listening to you vent over the parking ticket and how rediculous you think it is. He also the same person who knows the secrets to your heart and will tell you the truth regardless of how rude and abrupt it may be. This person can make you increadibly mad and/or frustrated one minute and the next has you smiling and laughing even when they are the last thing you feel like doing.Now dont let the "he" fool you..everyone has one of these people in their lives. A friend, family member etc..They are the people who we can count on to be there for us even when it seems life is slowly crumbling beneath you. In my life this person is a guy...and I know I tell him almost everyday what he means but there are no words that really say it. As a song says, " Every time I try to tell {him} how i feel it comes out I love you.
So hope you enjoyed the read, Have an awsome week.

To sit and contemplate

Today, I took my class on a field trip. We headed out through the wind, and down pour rain to the beauty and serenity of Dallas Valley (about 20mins North of Regina.) It was a new experience for me. I was able to see my students in another light. You get to see how well they really understand you and whether they really understand what you expect of them.
My class did not let me down. I have this thing, where I start talking really quietly and I expect the students to be quiet and listen as I talk. I did this today as we were playing games inside (due to rain we cancelled the afternoon outdoor stuff and just did stuff indoors for 2 hours) my class stopped talking and listened to me. I was so thrilled. I know it's a silly teacher moment, but its these types of moments that you cant help but be proud of your class.
I've had A complaint that I have not been writing lately so i feel the need to fill you in on my life (though the person who complained is a major part of it..so i really dont get why he bothers complaining but....)
Really my life revolves around school, the youth girls group i lead and of course Ben. I must say, Ben is such a support, lately i've been a little crazy, and yet he will still just grab my hand pull me into a hug and make me fill like its going to be ok. His job takes him on the road lots, so many days i spend it trying to fill in the moments he is here, or trying to get ahead so I can spend the days he is around with him. THere is something about that guy that just makes me smile, he pushes me to be me (of course the only one who is really reading this is Ben...but oh well, in case someone else happens to read it...then you shall know this amazing man ;) )
School is full of learning moments and since the internship i am finally stating to enjoy teaching. This october, i am starting a month long unit that goes over all subject areas on survivor. I cant wait, its as if my teacher brain has finally clicked on. lol.
Girls small groups, is great, i love my bunch, they are all so amazing.
Well thats my life..those are the moments....